The Interview (does being truthful affect our body?)

A record is playing in my head from the moment of awakening to the nightly shut-off.

What kind of ‘music’ am I listening to? What am I saying to myself and what am I saying to others? Byron Katie comes to mind, with her ‘stories’ and questioning process.

Lets say I have a job interview coming up. What am I telling myself? ” I will do my best”, “This is my best shot at stepping up the life ladder”, ” If I prepare really well/ look my best/ don’t make any mistakes/ don’t blank out and loose confidence/ slow down/ not tense up” – “then with some deserved/iundeserved luck I will grow in the world’s/my own eyes”

Now the question: is it true? A moment of deep breath, then: ” If it is not true, then here is another record we prepared for you”: “You are a failure and anyone can see it. No need to go through the whole effort business because you are no good. Or at least everyone is much better/younger/funner/lighter”.

Now is THIS true? Confusion. Peace of mind. Breathing.

“I am fine as I am. I don’t really need this job/promotion/fill in the blancs. I am healthy and I have food in the fridge. My children grew up to be nice people. Life is good. I am good. I can contribute a lot to this ailing and desperate company/business/hiring manager. It would be a sacrifice of my time and effort, but for the right sum of money I am willing(or not?) to consider it. Deep breath, happy smile.


The interview. The person across from me is pretending being light casual and carefree. They are testing you, but only to their own level of understanding. Can you stay true to yourself under pressure?

Why is it so hard

Why is it so hard to stop holding/bracing/stabilizing one area of our body and instead let it coordinate with with rest harmoniously and fluidly?

Since early childhood we were taught/trained by people who in our best interest made us feel like we have to do a special effort in order to perform something well. Every skill was achieved through a familiar learning process: First we try and fail according to the adult next to us, then the adult would show us how and we are rushed to achieve the desired result at any cost, mental and physical. Try, try again. Try harder. Rarely were we allowed to arrive to the skill by having intention, understanding and patience.

Fast forward, here we are, trying to stop the automatic holding. It feels impossible. Our brain says, let it be free, but we hear – DO something else instead of holding. Yes, but what? We panic. How can we DO and we don’t know what? How? What does it FEEL like? We will fail for sure, collapse, fall over. Be criticized for the failure probably, it scares us deeply, reflexively.
It made me smile when I realized. Stopping the holding/bracing isn’t an action. It isn’t similar to pressing the brakes when we drive. Instead it is like gracefully walking out of a crowded room into a beautiful garden.

My Mission

Many years ago I learned about pain and desperation. I was 27, I loved backpacking, rock climbing and running. And then my left knee started to hurt. In the hindsight, I can see why it happened. My natural postural habits were quite distorted, I could observe it in the mirror and on photos, but I had no idea how to change. My upper back was sagging forward and down and my neck was sticking way forward while the head would tilt up. My mother used to pat me on the back and suggest ‘stand straight!’, but it had no internal meaning to me. I would try to hold my self ‘straight’ , but was never able to do it for more than a min. Back pain was my friend since the age of 10.After several expert orthopedic doctors visits, an arthroscopic exploratory surgery was suggested, and I went ahead with it. I did, because I had no other ideas. I wasn’t aware of the Alexander Technique and didn’t know there was a way to change from within.My journey out of pain took a good few years at the Jerusalem Course for the Alexander Technique. How I got there and the more detailed story I will describe in another post.The main point I want to make here is once we are shown the way, we can learn and change, and then healing can happen. This is my mission.

Letting..Go!

I read an article recently, suggesting ‘letting go’ as one of the steps of Alexander Technique work. So much internal weight we carry associated with this expression. ‘Let go’ when our child frustrates us to infinity, ‘Let go’ when someone just hurt our feelings and we want to fight back. Would letting go really mean ‘Give in’? ‘Give up’? ‘You’re powerless against an obstacle’?

So I thought, what if –

Lets Let..Go! Imagine yourself leap up instead of shutting off your system in submission. Take a second to pause and decide where is up and which part of you should go in that direction. Then decide which part of you will go in the opposite direction, down. Are these two directions going to happen in a particular order or all at once? Then thrust up mentally with full intent and don’t second guess yourself. Fall up, go!

The inner workings of an Alexander Technique lesson

Every lesson begins by transitioning into the simple state of observation and experimentation. We leave behind the belief that if we work very hard we will be rewarded by some form of success. Furthermore, we go on shedding as many beliefs as possible, while observing the resulting freedom in our breathing and in our body. What will happen if we stop trying to be ‘right’? Stop clenching our neck, arms, feet in order to be in control of our posture and movement? Is there a different way of control? This is what Alexander Technique boils down to: Noticing restrictive patterns of thought and their physical representations. Giving up on these restrictions mentally while actively guiding our body in a way that encourages lengthening of the spine and realizing the full range of possibilities in the joints. And the reward? A sense of connectedness and clarity in the mind and body with the ability to perform and adapt to any task at hand, while not losing ourselves on the way.

‘Student’ or ‘patient’?

Often, people new to Alexander Technique are confused: When they are seeing an Alexander Technique practitioner, do they become a ‘student’ or a ‘patient’? A student, because an Alexander Technique session immerses the student in new way of feeling and thinking, and even though there is no ‘homework’, there is a natural learning and exploration that happens after the lesson. Studies show that this knowledge has long term retention even after just 6 lessons https://www.bmj.com/content/337/bmj.a884

A definition of a ‘patient’ is: A person who is seeking medical care.

As an Alexander Technique teacher, I don’t presume to give any medical advice. If a student suffers from pain, quite often there will be a dramatic improvement when the tension distribution changes and the movement becomes more efficient and better oriented. This is a gradual learning process. When I turned to Alexander Technique due to a very unfortunate knee surgery, it took me five lessons to realize that if my back is working properly, my knee can function without pain. It took me another year to reach some level of consistency in this new way of being.

I think we all want to learn how to be, how to deal with our own body’s tricks and with what the external world throws at us. F.M Alexander technique can really take us out of ourselves and into a kinder life.

A Student’s Story

I’ve had several injuries over the years some I fully recovered from; others I still struggle with. I’ve tried various medical and holistic methods including various forms of physical therapy, chiropractic, massage, acupuncture, as well as stretches, yoga, weights, exercise etc.

All have their pros and cons and all work better together it all depends on what the issue is. I still utilize these as applicable and as needed however I now have Alexander technique to add to my toolbox.

Through Under 10 sessions of Alexander practice with Ada, I experienced two major breakthroughs and gained a corrective freestyle swimming stroke that helps me swim pain free despite a long term shoulder injury.

Describing Alexander technique is difficult. For me it is a form of both mind and body work which coupled together have enabled me to feel what it is like to be in a correct posture for the first time 20 plus years.

Oddly the way one arrives at this stage is by relaxing the body to such a state that the body finds the correct posture on its own. It’s a balance of relaxation and concentration. Call it mind over matter or what you will.

Alexander is a practice and having a breakthrough is the beginning. Then we get to try and practice achieving that state solo or with periodic guidance. Once you have a breakthrough, you practice such that as with sports, you gain a memory. With sports it’s a muscle memory; with Alexander, it’s a (regained) mental memory of body alignment.

Constructive rest

Lying down in semi-supine position on a firm surface for a few minutes a day is the best ‘homework’ for the Alexander Technique student. Place a couple of books under your head, so the face is level. Allow the neck to be free. Allow the whole back relax into the floor, spreading and melting.