Why is it so hard to stop holding/bracing/stabilizing one area of our body and instead let it coordinate with with rest harmoniously and fluidly?

Since early childhood we were taught/trained by people who in our best interest made us feel like we have to do a special effort in order to perform something well. Every skill was achieved through a familiar learning process: First we try and fail according to the adult next to us, then the adult would show us how and we are rushed to achieve the desired result at any cost, mental and physical. Try, try again. Try harder. Rarely were we allowed to arrive to the skill by having intention, understanding and patience.

Fast forward, here we are, trying to stop the automatic holding. It feels impossible. Our brain says, let it be free, but we hear – DO something else instead of holding. Yes, but what? We panic. How can we DO and we don’t know what? How? What does it FEEL like? We will fail for sure, collapse, fall over. Be criticized for the failure probably, it scares us deeply, reflexively.
It made me smile when I realized. Stopping the holding/bracing isn’t an action. It isn’t similar to pressing the brakes when we drive. Instead it is like gracefully walking out of a crowded room into a beautiful garden.